Choosing professional help: your options, honestly compared

Maybe there is a sister you love who lives three time zones away. Maybe your closest friend is your age, and you would rather not hand her the paperwork. Or maybe you simply want a professional to carry out what you decided, so the people you love can just be there.

This guide lays out the honest options for having someone act for you, side by side. It covers what each can and can't do, how each is paid, and what happens if they are no longer around. It also summarizes and links every post in our Choosing professional help series.

First, the four roles

Most estate plans name people for four jobs. Our guide to the four roles covers them in depth; here is the short version.

Each of these people is a fiduciary: legally required to act in your interest and follow what you wrote. You can name the same person for all four, or different people for each. You can also name a backup in every role, which our post on naming a backup in every role explains.

The six options, at a glance

Here is the core comparison. The rules are Washington's, as the worked example, because that is where Kinly's trust company is chartered. Other states differ, so a lawyer in your state should confirm who can serve where you live.

No row is the right answer for everyone. The sections below explain each one fairly, including what it does well.

A family member or friend

For most people, this is the first and best choice. Someone who knows you, knows your dog's name and knows how you feel about hospitals can act with real understanding.

In Washington, a close friend can even make medical decisions when nobody is named. But a friend comes last in line, after a long list of relatives (RCW 7.70.065).

There are practical limits, and they are nobody's fault. A brother may live far away, and a friend may have her own health to manage.

Acting as executor or trustee is real work: deadlines, records, tax returns and court filings.

A few legal limits apply too. Washington does not let your own doctor, their staff, or employees of your care facility serve as your health care agent. The exception is a spouse, domestic partner, parent, adult child or sibling (RCW 11.125.400).

Some people, such as those convicted of a felony, can't serve as executor (RCW 11.36.010).

On pay, family often serve for nothing. An executor is entitled to what the will provides, or what the court finds "just and reasonable" (RCW 11.48.210).

Your attorney

The lawyer who drafted your will knows your plan, and some will agree to serve as executor. Washington allows a professional service corporation, LLC or LLP owned entirely by attorneys to serve as personal representative (RCW 11.36.010). Naming the firm, rather than one lawyer, can help if that lawyer later retires.

Whether an attorney will act as your financial agent, trustee or health care agent is a question for that attorney. Some do, some don't. Ask directly, and ask how they bill for the work, since their hourly time as a fiduciary is separate from their drafting fee.

The honest trade-off is availability. Many law offices keep business hours. If medical decisions matter most to you, ask who answers a hospital's call after hours.

A professional fiduciary or guardian

"Professional fiduciary" means an individual or small firm whose business is serving in these roles for people who are not family. How they are regulated depends on the state.

California, for example, has a Professional Fiduciaries Bureau. It licenses non-family conservators, guardians, trustees, personal representatives and agents under a durable power of attorney (California Professional Fiduciaries Bureau).

Washington takes a different approach. It certifies professional guardians and conservators, the people courts appoint, through a board created by Supreme Court rule (GR 23).

When a Washington court appoints a guardian or conservator, the court must approve their pay as reasonable. It may not exceed typical amounts for comparable services in the community (RCW 11.130.105).

When you name a professional in your own documents, pay is set by your agreement with them. Our post on professional fiduciaries explains what to ask.

The strength here is personal attention from someone who does this every day. The question to ask is what happens if that one person retires, gets sick or moves on.

A bank or trust company

Trust companies exist to serve as trustee and executor. In Washington, trust companies organized under state law and national banks may serve as personal representative when authorized to (RCW 11.36.010).

Washington's power of attorney law defines "person" to include corporations. So a company can be named as a financial agent (RCW 11.125.020).

The biggest advantage is continuity. A company doesn't retire, move away or get sick. Our post on corporate versus individual trustees goes deeper on that trade.

The common drawbacks are cost and fit. Many trust companies charge a percentage of the assets they manage, with minimums.

Here is one published example, not a typical figure. Members Trust Company lists a $250,000 account minimum. Its annual fee starts at 1.25% on the first $1 million (SECU Trust Services fee schedule).

In Washington, a trust company's fee must be at arm's length and reasonable for the services (RCW 30B.24.010).

Medical decisions are a separate question. Ask any trust company whether it will act as your health care agent, and how it would reach a decision at 3 a.m. Our post on trust company fees covers the questions to ask about cost.

A daily money manager

A daily money manager helps with routine finances while you are well: paying bills, balancing accounts and keeping records. The American Association of Daily Money Managers says most of its members bill by the hour. It adds that "some, but not all" also offer fiduciary services, such as acting as trustee (AADMM).

For many people this is a kind, practical help, especially for a parent falling behind on mail. On its own, though, it isn't a legal role.

A daily money manager needs authority, such as a power of attorney, to act on your accounts if you can't. Our post on daily money managers explains how to find one and what to check.

A standby fiduciary membership

A standby fiduciary is a professional named in your documents now, who acts only when needed and only as you directed. Our post on what a standby fiduciary is explains the term in full.

Kinly is one version of this. A membership includes a care plan: everything only you know, kept on file and changeable from your phone.

It also includes four legal documents written for your state, and a team on call 24/7/365 with your plan in front of them. Trella Trust Company, a Washington State chartered trust company, is named in any or all of the four roles. It can serve first, or as backup to people you choose.

You set the order in every role. Kinly can be first, or the backup behind a sister, brother or friend. The membership is $999 a year for one person or $1,499 for a couple (pricing).

If the trust company actually steps in and does work, that work is charged by the hour. You always see the rates before anything starts. How it works walks through the steps.

The trade-off is that a membership is an ongoing annual fee, even in years when nothing happens. Whether that is worth it depends on how much the round-the-clock answer and the backup in every role matter to you.

What happens at 3 a.m.?

This is the question people forget to ask. The financial roles can usually wait until morning. A medical decision sometimes can't.

When a hospital needs a decision and you can't speak, it looks for your health care agent. If you named nobody, Washington law works down a list.

It starts with a guardian, then a spouse, adult children, parents and adult siblings, then more distant relatives (RCW 7.70.065). A close friend can qualify only at the very end, by signing a declaration.

So whoever you name, ask one simple thing. If the hospital calls in the night, who picks up, and do they have my wishes? Our post on default decision-maker laws by state shows how this works across the country.

What happens if they die or retire?

Every plan should survive the people in it. This is where the options differ most.

• A person you named (family, friend, attorney or professional) can only be replaced by a backup you also named. Without one, Washington gives the executor role to a spouse, then next of kin, then others in a set order. A court may eventually appoint "any suitable person" (RCW 11.28.120).
• A firm you named (a law firm or trust company) can continue even when individual people leave.
• A daily money manager works under a private agreement, so you would hire someone new.

The simplest protection is a named backup in every role. Our post on what happens if the executor can't serve explains the executor side in detail.

What a professional can't replace

A professional can carry out your plan, pay the bills and answer the phone at any hour. What a professional can't do is be your friend at your bedside. Those are different jobs, and both matter.

Many people find that naming a professional actually frees the people they love. Your niece can visit with flowers instead of a folder of bank statements. Your friend can sit with you instead of arguing with an insurance company on hold.

So it helps to think of the four roles as work, and of family and friends as company. You can give the work to whoever suits it best, and keep the company close.

How to choose: questions to ask anyone

Use this list whether you are talking to your niece, your lawyer or a trust company.

1. Which of the four roles will you serve in, and which won't you?
2. Are you willing to be first, or only the backup?
3. If a hospital calls at 3 a.m., who answers, and will they have my wishes?
4. How are you paid for each role, and can I see that in writing?
5. Who checks your work, and do you keep records I or my family can see?
6. What happens if you retire, move or get sick?
7. Are you regulated, certified or licensed, and by whom?

There is no wrong answer to wanting both a person and a professional. Many people name a friend first for medical decisions, because she knows them, and a professional behind her. Others name a professional first for money and a sibling for health care.

A typical case, a composite

Here is a typical case, a composite. Margaret is 68, widowed, and her only brother lives in Arizona. Her friend Ruth walks Daisy when Margaret travels and knows exactly how Margaret feels about hospitals.

Margaret names Ruth first as her medical power of attorney, with a professional as backup. For money, the estate and her trust, she names the professional first and her brother as backup. Nobody has to fly in to pay the property tax.

She writes down Daisy's routine, the plants and the neighbor with the key, so whoever acts knows exactly what she wanted.

The posts in this series

Here is every post in our Choosing professional help series:

• Naming a friend vs a professional: an honest comparison of asking someone you know versus hiring a professional as executor, with the questions to ask both.
• Attorney, trust company or family: who should act for you in each role, and how the three compare on cost, continuity and knowing you.
• What is a standby fiduciary?: the meaning of the term, how being first or backup works, and what to ask before naming one.
• Default decision-maker laws by state: which states let a friend make medical decisions when no power of attorney is in place, state by state.

If cost is the next question, our guide to paying for care and protecting what you leave covers fees, Medicaid and what professionals charge.

Common questions

Can a trust company be my executor?

In Washington, yes: trust companies organized under state law and national banks may serve as personal representative when authorized, under RCW 11.36.010. Other states have their own rules. Ask the company about its fees and minimums before you name it.

Can a friend make medical decisions for me if I haven't named anyone?

In Washington, only as a last resort. RCW 7.70.065 lists relatives first. A close friend qualifies only if nobody in a higher class is available, and the friend must sign a declaration. Naming a medical power of attorney avoids that.

Should my attorney be my executor?

It can work well, especially if you name the firm so the role survives one lawyer's retirement. Ask how they bill for executor work, and who else would handle your estate. A backup is still wise.

What does a professional fiduciary charge?

It depends on the professional and the role. When a court appoints a guardian or conservator in Washington, fees must be reasonable and approved by the court. When you name one yourself, the fee is set by your agreement, so ask for it in writing.

Can I name a professional only as a backup?

Yes. You can name a family member or friend first in any role, and a professional second. Kinly members set the order in every role, so Kinly can be first or the backup.

Sources

• RCW 7.70.065: Informed consent, persons authorized to provide for patients who lack capacity
• RCW 11.125.020: Uniform Power of Attorney Act definitions
• RCW 11.125.400: Health care decisions under a power of attorney
• RCW 11.36.010: Qualifications of personal representatives
• RCW 11.28.120: Persons entitled to letters of administration
• RCW 11.48.210: Personal representative compensation
• RCW 11.130.105: Guardian and conservator compensation
• RCW 30B.24.010: Trust company fee determination
• Washington Courts: GR 23, Rule for certifying professional guardians and conservators
• California Professional Fiduciaries Bureau
• American Association of Daily Money Managers: FAQs
• SECU Trust Services (Members Trust Company) fee schedule, April 2024