Letter of instruction: what to write and where to keep it
The short answer
A letter of instruction is a plain letter to your executor and family that sits beside your will. It lists your accounts, advisers, bills, people to call, where papers are kept, and the small wishes a will leaves out. It isn't legally binding, so keep it current, and keep it where the right people can find it.
A will answers one big question: who gets what. It leaves out the hundred small ones. Which bank has the old savings account? Who is your accountant? Does the cat really need the expensive food?
A letter of instruction is where those answers go. It's an ordinary letter, written in your own words, to the people who will settle your affairs. It's one part of a wider care plan, the record of everything only you know.
What is a letter of instruction?
It's a plain-language guide that sits next to your will. It is usually addressed to your executor, the person your will names to settle the estate. It can also speak to family and close friends.
There are no signing rules for it, because it isn't a legal document. That is its strength and its limit. You can write it this afternoon and change it next month, but nobody is legally bound to follow it.
So treat it as a map, not a command. Your will, trust and powers of attorney carry the authority. The letter tells the people holding that authority where everything is and what you meant.
What goes in a letter of instruction?
Start with what someone would need in the first week, then add the rest. Here is a checklist you can work through one section at a time.
People to call
- Your executor and any backup, with phone numbers.
- Your attorney, accountant and financial adviser.
- Your doctor, if the letter will also be read during an illness.
- Friends who should hear the news from a person, not from social media.
Our post on building a notification list helps you decide who goes first.
Where things are
- Your will, trust and powers of attorney: the originals, and who has copies.
- Deeds, car titles and tax returns from the last few years.
- A safe deposit box, and where the key is.
- The spare house key, and the neighbor who has one.
Money and accounts
- Each bank, brokerage and retirement account, by institution. Leave out full account numbers.
- Pensions, annuities and any life insurance you own, with the company name.
- Regular bills: mortgage, utilities, property tax, subscriptions.
- Debts, and which accounts pay automatically.
Your digital life
- Which email address matters, and where your photos live.
- Where your passwords are kept, such as a password manager. Don't write the passwords themselves in the letter.
Washington has a law on this. It lets you use a company's own online tool to say who may see your accounts after you die, and that choice can override your will (RCW 11.120.040). So check those settings too. Our guide to digital estate planning goes further.
The household and the animals
- Your pet's food, walk times, vet and medications.
- Who has agreed to take each animal.
- The gardener, the plant that needs a weekly drink, garbage day.
If you'd like to leave money for an animal's care, a letter can't do that on its own. Our post on pet trusts explains the tool that can.
Small wishes
- Funeral or memorial preferences, or where you've written them.
- Things with a story attached, and who should have them.
- Anything you'd like said, kindly, to a particular person.
Washington gives two of these wishes real legal weight if you follow its rules. A signed, witnessed document about your remains is enough authorization (RCW 68.50.160). And a will or trust can refer to a separate written list of belongings (RCW 11.12.260). See our posts on funeral wishes and the personal property memo.
What a letter of instruction can and can't do
It helps to be clear about the edges, so nothing important depends only on the letter.
| You want to | Letter of instruction | What does it properly |
|---|---|---|
| Tell your executor where accounts are | Yes | |
| Explain the dog's routine | Yes | |
| Leave the house or money to someone | No | A will or trust |
| Leave specific belongings | Only as a wish | In Washington, a written list your will or trust refers to |
| Set aside money for a pet | No | A pet trust |
| Name who makes medical decisions | No | A medical power of attorney |
| Make your funeral choices binding | Not by itself | In Washington, a signed, witnessed document |
The rule of thumb: if it moves property or gives someone authority, it belongs in a formal document. If it explains, it belongs in the letter.
Where should you keep it?
A letter only helps if the right person reads it at the right time. Too hidden, and it's found after the decisions are made. Too open, and it puts private details on the kitchen counter.
A few simple habits work well:
- Keep the original with your will. Wherever the will is, the letter should be beside it, or a note should say where it is.
- Tell your executor it exists. You don't have to share every detail now. Just say where it is.
- Give a short copy to whoever needs a piece of it. Your neighbor needs the pet page, not your account list.
- Keep a dated digital copy. Paper is easy to lose and hard to update. A dated file makes it clear which version is current.
If the letter mentions a safe deposit box, make sure someone can reach it. A key in a drawer doesn't help if nobody knows the box exists.
How often to update it
A letter of instruction goes out of date faster than a will. Accounts move, advisers retire, and a new dog arrives with new habits.
Look at it once a year, perhaps on your birthday. Update it whenever something big changes. Date each version, so your executor can tell which one is current.
A short example
Here is a typical case, a composite. Marian, 72, keeps a two-page letter in the folder with her will. It names her brother as executor and her friend June as backup.
Page one lists her bank, her retirement account, her accountant and her attorney, with phone numbers. It says her passwords are in a password manager and her brother knows the main password is in the safe deposit box. Page two is about Pepper, her spaniel: breakfast at seven, a walk at four, allergy pills with dinner, and June has agreed to take her.
When Marian died, her brother didn't spend weeks hunting for statements. He called the accountant first, as the letter asked. Pepper went to June that evening.
Letter, binder or care plan?
A letter of instruction overlaps with two other ideas. An "in case I die" binder gathers the papers themselves in one place. A care plan covers illness as well as death, and can be kept on file with the people authorized to act for you.
Many people do all three in one: a care plan that includes what a letter would say, with the papers stored where it points. In a Kinly membership, that care plan is kept on file and can be changed from your phone. How it works shows the rest.
Common questions
Is a letter of instruction legally binding?
No. It's guidance for your executor and family, not a legal document. Anything that leaves property to someone or gives someone authority belongs in a will, trust or power of attorney. In Washington, a list of belongings only counts if your will or trust refers to it and the list meets the rules in RCW 11.12.260.
Who should I address a letter of instruction to?
Usually your executor, with a copy or a short version for close family. If it covers illness too, address it also to the agent under your financial power of attorney. Write it so a capable stranger could follow it.
Should I put passwords in a letter of instruction?
It's safer not to. Say where your passwords are kept, such as a password manager, and how your executor can reach it. In Washington, a company's own online tool for naming who may see your account can override your will, so set those too.
What's the difference between a letter of instruction and a will?
A will is a formal, signed document that leaves property and names your executor. A letter of instruction is informal and explains the practical details: accounts, contacts, routines and wishes. They work best together, and the letter should never contradict the will.
Sources
This page is general information, not legal or financial advice. Laws vary by state.