Solo agers: the planning checklist nobody hands you

Updated 2026-10-16 · Expert review in progress

The short answer

By 65, aim to have four signed documents (a medical power of attorney, a durable financial power of attorney, a will and, if it fits, a revocable trust), a first and backup name in every role, and a written care plan. Then tell the people you named and keep copies where they can find them.

"Solo agers" is the name a growing community uses for planning later life without a spouse or children close by to step in. It covers many lives: widowed, divorced, never married, married without children, or a parent whose children live far away.

Most planning checklists quietly assume a husband or a daughter fills every blank. This one assumes you'll choose each person on purpose.

If the law's default list is the part on your mind, start with who decides for you when you can't.

Why 65 is a good moment

Nothing legal happens at 65. It's simply a time when many people retire, sign up for Medicare and take stock.

It's also a calm time to sign. Every document on this list has to be signed while you understand it, and that's easiest when nothing is urgent.

The checklist

Here is the short version. Each item is explained below.

Four documents, signed and current
A first choice and a backup in every role
Beneficiary names that match what you want
A written care plan with the everyday details
Copies where the right people can reach them
A plan for Social Security payments
A yearly look, and a fresh one after big changes

1. Four documents

Most plans rest on four documents. Each one names a person to a job.

Document	What it does	Washington detail
Medical power of attorney	Names who talks with your doctors and consents for you	Puts your choice ahead of the default list in RCW 7.70.065
Financial power of attorney	Names who pays bills and handles accounts while you're alive	Ends at incapacity unless it has durability wording (RCW 11.125.040)
Will	Names your executor and says who receives what	Needs two witnesses (RCW 11.12.020)
Revocable trust	Names a trustee to manage property without waiting on probate	Revocable only if its terms expressly say so (RCW 11.103.030)

In Washington, a power of attorney is signed before a notary or two qualified witnesses (RCW 11.125.050). Other states have their own signing rules.

Many people also sign a health care directive, sometimes called a living will. It records which treatments you'd want or refuse. Our page on advance directives explains how it sits beside a medical power of attorney.

2. A first choice and a backup in every role

This is where planning without an obvious family answer takes the most thought. For each role, ask four questions about the person you have in mind:

Will they say yes, and mean it?
Could they get to you, or to your house, within a day?
Are they likely to be healthy and able for the next twenty years?
Do they keep track of paperwork?

Then name a second person. Washington's power of attorney law lets you name successor agents. A successor steps in only after the person ahead of them resigns, dies, becomes incapacitated or declines to serve (RCW 11.125.110).

Role	What it needs most	A common pairing
Medical power of attorney	Someone nearby who knows your wishes	A close friend first, a sibling as backup
Financial power of attorney	Someone organized and honest with money	A sibling or friend first, a professional as backup
Executor	Patience for months of paperwork	A friend or relative first, a trust company as backup
Trustee	Steadiness over years	Often the same as the executor

The same person doesn't have to fill every role. Our page on naming a backup in every role goes further. Our page on whether a friend can be your power of attorney covers what to ask a friend first.

3. Beneficiary names that match what you want

Some property never passes through a will. In Washington, IRAs and other accounts with a named beneficiary are "nonprobate assets" (RCW 11.02.005). They go to whoever is named on the account.

So pull up each account and read the beneficiary line. A name written thirty years ago may still be there.

Washington also allows a transfer on death deed for a house. It has to be recorded with the county auditor before death to work (RCW 64.80.060). If you'd like friends, a niece or a charity to receive something, these names matter as much as the will does.

4. A written care plan

Legal documents say who has authority. They don't say that Daisy gets her walk at four, or that the neighbor across the street has the spare key.

A care plan is where those details live. It covers your treatment wishes, who to call first, your pets, your home and your accounts. If you have a dog, start with who takes care of your dog tomorrow.

5. Copies where the right people can reach them

A document in a locked drawer can't help in an emergency room. The National Institute on Aging suggests giving copies of your advance directives to your health care proxy, your doctors and your lawyer.

Carry a card in your wallet that names who to call. Our page on your ICE card shows what to put on it.

6. A plan for Social Security payments

This one surprises people. As AARP explains, a power of attorney doesn't authorize your agent to manage your Social Security benefits. Social Security uses its own system, called a representative payee.

You can name people in advance who could serve as your payee if you ever need one. AARP notes you can name up to three, and Social Security's own manual says this advance designation is separate from any power of attorney. It's a short step that closes a gap your financial agent can't.

7. A yearly look

The National Institute on Aging suggests reviewing your advance directives at least once a year. It also suggests updating them after a major change, such as a move or a shift in your health.

The same habit works for every name on this list. People move, get sick or simply change.

A typical case

Here is a typical case, a composite. Linda is 66, a retired librarian, never married, with a beagle named Pip. Her brother lives in Arizona; her friend Carol lives four blocks away.

Linda names Carol as her medical power of attorney, with her brother as backup. She names her brother as financial agent and executor, with a trust company behind him. Her care plan says Pip eats at seven and five, and Carol has the key.

Nothing in Linda's plan is unusual. It's simply written down, with a second name in every line.

When there isn't an obvious name

Some people have a friend or sibling ready for every role. Others have one good name and no second, or a list of people their own age.

That's when a professional can help, first or as backup. A fiduciary is legally required to act in your interest and follow what you wrote. Our guide to choosing professional help compares the options honestly.

Kinly is one of them: a membership that includes the four documents, a care plan and a trust company that can stand in any role. You can see the details on how it works. If you're planning as a couple or on your own, see estate planning for couples without children or estate planning for single people.

Common questions

What does "solo agers" mean?

It's a name for people planning later life without a spouse, partner or children available to help. Many people use it for a community and a set of shared planning questions. The planning steps are the same as anyone's, with more thought given to who fills each role.

What should I sign first?

Start with the two powers of attorney, medical and financial. They work while you're alive, which is when most people need help. In Washington, make sure the financial one says it continues if you become incapacitated.

Can a friend fill every role?

Usually yes, with a few state limits. In Washington, your doctor and staff at a facility where you live can't be your health care agent. The exception is a close relative (RCW 11.125.400). Executors have their own qualifications under RCW 11.36.010.

How often should I review my plan?

At least once a year, and after any big change: a move, a death, a new diagnosis or a falling out. Check the people as well as the documents. A name that was right at 60 may not be right at 75.

Sources

This page is general information, not legal or financial advice. Laws vary by state.

Keep reading

The next-of-kin gapEstate planning for couples without childrenEstate planning for childless couples: who to name after each other as executor and agent, what happens if you die together, and who receives what.The next-of-kin gapEstate planning for single peopleEstate planning for a single person: the four documents to sign, how to choose a name for each role without a spouse, and how to decide who receives what.The next-of-kin gapWho decides for you when you can't? The next-of-kin gapWho is my next of kin, and who decides for me if I can't? How the law picks medical decision makers, heirs and executors, and how to close the gap.Choosing professional helpChoosing professional help: your options, honestly comparedWant a professional executor, trustee or power of attorney? Here are the honest options: family, attorney, professional fiduciary, trust company and more.